Hipster Survival Guide

In a city where being a hipster deutschbag is the mainstream it can be overwhelming when trying to find the right places to show off your freshly buzzed undercut. Well, fortunately for you and your collection of thrifted grandmother cardigans I have spent a month going to places so cool that you've probably never heard of them. This is not an exhaustive list of the only hipster approved establishments, but merely a few trendy spots that I think are worth visiting if you have the time. Figuring you already know about Mauer Park, Gorlitzer Park and Cassiopeia, I thought I'd focus on places a little more obscure. Like any self respecting hipster city, Berlin is changing at a rate that even the coolest local bearded and geometric-tattoo clad people can't keep up with all the options. It's quite possible that the places in my guide are now over-run with mainstream people or simple don't exist any more. Given I only had a month to do this, I had to stop taking notes on places eventually and just go with what I had. You could easily find your own trendy hangouts just by wandering around the city. As a foreigner with an asymmetrical haircut and a proclivity for reused buildings I have done my best to make your stay in Berlin as effortlessly cool as possible. You can thank me later.

How to Blend in With the Berlin Hipsters

Along with your rolled up skinny jeans, decorative horn rimmed glasses and Instagram account there are few items and behaviours specific to Berlin that will allow you to blend in so well the locals will be asking you for directions.

Club Mate

This fizzy energy drink is made from a Brazilian tea and tastes like a combination of fig and apple juice. Popular on it's own or topped with vodka or rum, no hipster outfit is complete without a bottle of Club Mate in one hand. Available from most cafes, restaurants, super markets and late shops (Spätkauf) a bottle will set you back 1€-2€. Don't forget you can get 8c back when you return the empty bottle to the special machines in supermarkets.

Rollies

With smoking being accepted inside most cafes, restaurants, bars and clubs (some get uncomfortably hot and smokey even for the hardcore chain smokers amongst you) you have to make sure you're smoking the right cigarettes. If you can't roll, Marlboro Lights are of course tolerated among the cool crowd, but you really should teach yourself, ditch the tailors and pick up a pack of American Spirit, Lucky Strike or Pueblo tobacco. You should have learnt by now that rolling is far cheaper [cooler] and therefore leaves more money for tote bags and vegan burgers. Don't worry about cancer, we're all quitting next week.

Second Hand Bikes

Berlin is a relatively flat city and therefore very bike-friendly. As a fixie is the best way to spot a hipster on the move, it's probably no surprise that a bike is a must for any Berlin hipster. An establishment with more bikes than usual locked up out the front, marks most hipster approved hang outs. Preferably a second hand one purchased from Mauer Park Fleamarket, any style bike is acceptable to pedal from gallery to cafe to bar to recycled warehouse space/around the streets of Kreuzberg and Friedrichshain. If you're not in Berlin for long enough to buy a bike but still want to join in with the two wheeled fun, you can rent Dutch Style bikes for about 10€ a day from most hire shops.

Speak very little Deutsch

Even the German hipsters deny their mother tongue, bar a few key words (such as scheisse). This is particularly comforting for visiting hipsters as most Berliners under the age of fifty speak English very well, even if they say they only know a little bit. When in doubt start an encounter with “Enschuldigung, sprechen sie Englisch?” (Excuse me, do you speak English?) then you are free to ask or say whatever you want, without rudely assuming they speak English. Other key phrases include “Ich nehme ein Club Mate/bier, bitte” (I'll take a Club Mate/beer, please), “Dankeshön” (Thank you - for the beer), “Nein, danke” (No thanks - useful for turning away beggars or people handing out flyers) “Prost!” (Cheers - make sure you look the person in the eye or suffer seven years of bad sex) and “Hast du fuer?” (Do you have a light?).

Districts
As I mentioned above you can find many of your own hipster places in Kreuzberg and Freidrichshain. Some areas of Neukölln are also very alt-cool and for those interested in more gentrified establishments, a stroll through Prenzlauer Berg will not go amiss. In fact if you just stick to these eastern suburbs your scuffed shoes and kahki jackets will be welcomed amongst the locals.

Neukölln Bar Crawl

Some areas of Neukölln are a bit rough and not particularly interesting, however there are several pockets of hipster approved establishments. Along the leafy street of Westerstraße there are the kind of dingy, dimly lit and eclectic bars you would hope to find in a district that has not yet been gentrified.

Fuch's and Elster
Westerstraße 207, Neukölln
U7/U8 Hermanplatz
Daily 4pm til late
Fuch's and Elster is a small, mismatched bar that also houses electronic and acoustic live acts on some nights. On normal nights you can sit in the comfortable, thrifted arm chairs by the window and watch the world wander past. Unusually for Berlin, smoking is not allowed inside, however there are a number of stools and low tables on the door step, often occupied by the coolest Neukölln people. Sit among them, smoke your rollies and plan your band name and first song titles with your visiting hipster friends.

Gaston
Weichelstraße 18, Neukölln
U7/U8 Hermanplatz
Dailt 3pm til late
www.gaston-berlin.de
Depending on what time you start this bar crawl, you're likely to build up an appetite and need to line your stomach for the night of drinking ahead. While there are many imbisses in the area, you'd be missing out if you didn't sample the tapas at Gaston on the corner of Westerstraße and Weichelstraße. With black and white kitchen tiles on the floor, rickety bar stools and dogs curled up in the corner this restaurant makes for a energetic but homely place to stop for a meal. Grab a bottle of wine and talk excitedly about your time at Pamplona and Spanish festivals this summer as you eat some of the best tapas this side of France. In fact, the tapas is so good you'll be wanting to get a tattoo of it to commemorate it's deliciousness.

Ratzeputz

Westerstraße 182, Neukölln
U7/U8 Hermanplatz
Daily 7pm til late
www.ratzeputz-berlin.de
Keep heading down the street away from Hermanplatz and you'll find yourself in front of a plain looking bar with an oversized couch out the front. Alice in Wonderland tendencies aside, Ratzeputz is a quiet and chilled bar with a slightly outdated feel. Beware, even the most timid of hipsters would recognise all the songs in this bar's rotation. Unfortunately the wine sold here tastes worse than merely drinking crushed grapes, so stick to a beer or cocktail instead while you discretely hum along to your indie favourites.

Ä
Westerstraße 40, Neukölln
U7 Rathaus Neukölln
Daily 5pm til late
www.ae-neukolln.de
If boutique bars that have pretentious names are your thing then Ä is for you. While a little more widely known about that the others on Westerstraße, Ä is still not included on “alternative” pub crawls. The long and narrow bar is filled with armchairs, couches and raggedy standard lamps. The music is eclectic with just the right mix of classics, favourites and ironic tunes. Like many places in Berlin there is a free kicker table and a good way to expend any excess energy you may have before stumbling home in the small hours of the morning.